I don't get it. I simply don't get it. I'm counting and there's almost exactly 10 months to the day that I am supposedly getting married. To a man who supposedly loves me and will do anything for me.

And I have a mother who, after years and years of ranting and raving at me to shape up and try to look at least presentable so I don't get left on the shelf, should be incredibly relieved that some poor bloke has been foolish enough to offer (without coercion) to take this poor girl from the dreaded shelf and marry her.

And yet, the actions of these 2 very persons for the past months have been anything but joyful, excited and NOBODY seems thrilled and nervous with anticipation...except me.

I just don't get it. Am I the only one who is excited about the prospect of getting married? Am I the only one who feels a bit of an urgency to get things at least moving since I only have 10 months to get everything settled and I only have the groom-to-be a mere 4 weeks in June to get everything that requires his physical presence done?

Or am I just freakin crazy?

I think i am going crazy cos apart from my dearest friend Faridah, I don't seem to feel any FIZZLE of excitement from anyone else. Not even my parents. Nobody bothers to mention anything about my wedding unless I start off first. Ok, I understand that this wedding is mine so why should anyone else butt in unless asked right? But doesn't anyone care how things are going? Doesn't anyone care that the bride is starting to lose her mind and her drive cos even the groom is MIA on this one?

And most of all, this bride-to-be is starting to get MIGHTY MIGHTY pissed with this whole affair and is very very quickly starting to get a serious attack of cold feet. Or rather abandoned feet. Cos that is how this particular 'bride-to-be' is feeling right now.

Totally and utterly abandoned. By family, by friends and most of all the man she had agreed to marry.

This is all starting to feel like a bad dream....